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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

I relate to this so much. I still have a hard time expressing my anger in healthy ways because I've spent a long time suppressing it and still feel shame regarding it more than I'd like.

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Aleesha Neal's avatar

I've been blown away with by my kids and dayhome kids, because after I've been angry and come back to repair and let them know it's not their fault, they are just like OK! Their willingness to accept me after rupturing and repairing, and maybe even feeling more connected because of it, has healed a part of me that couldn't tolerate it before. It feels more safe now, and not like I'm going to be abandoned.

The shame is real and anger can feel so scary. I wonder what some safe expressions might look like for you. I'm here, holding space for you on this parallel journey <3

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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

Yes! They are so willing to forgive. I think it's still hard for me to accept that there will never be a point when I won't make mistakes and need to apologize. I understand that it's important to show them that I'm human and imperfect so they can know they're allowed to be, too, but I hate that it sometimes comes at their expense.

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Aleesha Neal's avatar

Oh my goodness, this is like the pain of the last year of my life 😂 like wait, I can never do enough work to get to a place where I never make mistakes?!? Then what’s the point?! I think I’m over that hump and seeing how it actually is bringing more connection rather than severing it (which is probably at the core of what I believed before)

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